All Things DnD's Story Dungeon

D&D Story: When An Edgelord Kid Took Edginess To The Extreme

December 07, 2020 All Things DnD
All Things DnD's Story Dungeon
D&D Story: When An Edgelord Kid Took Edginess To The Extreme
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All Things DnD's Story Dungeon
D&D Story: When An Edgelord Kid Took Edginess To The Extreme
Dec 07, 2020
All Things DnD

Do you feel like the DM was justified in feeling the way he did about the kid?

Support the show (https://paypal.me/MurtazaBohari)

Show Notes Transcript

Do you feel like the DM was justified in feeling the way he did about the kid?

Support the show (https://paypal.me/MurtazaBohari)

I had the wonderful opportunity to DM tier 1 adventure league because our regular DM was out.

The table consists of half people from my regular adventure league Strahd game, and half new people.

Just as the game was about to start, two kids roughly age 12-14 joined the table.

One kid was ok, but the other one was...bad.

He arrived at the table with a nearly empty character sheet and freshly purchased Essentials Kit. It had a race and class, human rogue and attribute stats. He had rolled his stats and of course they were all 18s, because that's of course what happened. Everything else was blank. I made him use the standard array for his stats because no way was I going to wait for him to figure out point buy.

His friend played a level 1 dwarf barbarian and had been to adventure league before.

One of the more veteran players helped the kid with that while I got started.

This was going to be a one-shot going into the underdark to rescue a gnome inventor from kuo-toa shenanigans. When the gnome inventor arrived in the underdark the kuo-toa thought he was a god they prayed for.

There are two kuo-toa tribes pitted against each other in a civil war. One are demon-worshipers of Dagon, while the other follow the gnome.

This information is relayed by a non-hostile kuo-toa who came up to the gnome's laboratory.

So of course, the kid wants to immediately stab it with a rapier. The dwarf NPC tells him to put away his sword, there's no need for violence.

The party comes to an underground lake. There is some kind of movement out in the water's surface, far from shore.

The 12 year old rogue: "I shout at them to come fight us!"

Umm...okay

"Yep, they definitely notice you now"

Three kuo-toas, one of them riding a plesiosaur swim over to shore.

"They don't look happy to see you." I said.

The rogue then says, "I hold my hand up and cut my palm, and offer the blood to them."

Alright then. Everyone at the table is sharing a few mixed looks and rolled eyes.

I check the module notes...and what do you know, there's actually something in here about that.

"Yeah, so they interpret that as a blood sacrifice to their demon lord."

"Sweet!" The kid says with a little fist pump.

"They start attacking everyone else, roll for initiative."

The battle commences. Everyone starts attacking except of course...for the kid rogue. It's now his turn.

"Ok kid, it's your turn. What do you do?"

"I want to cut off more of my flesh as sacrifices to the demons."

"Ok, if you do that, you'll take 1d4 damage"

Doesn’t seem to bother the kid so he cuts off parts of his arm and takes 4 damage.

The next player resumes battle, scores a hit on a kuo-toa. Everyone else is fighting except for the kid. His turn comes back around.

Again I ask, "What do you do, kid?"

"I squeeze my hand so more blood comes out."

If you are feeling gross imagine being there in person…

"Ok, take 1d4 more damage."

The kid takes another 3 damage. Everyone else does their actions and then it's the kids turn again.

At this point I didn’t even want to ask him the question. I was dreading it. But...here we go again.

"Ok, what do you want to do?"

"I want to push the dwarf barbarian."

I made them do a modified grapple check to see if he pushes over his friend. Kid rogue fails.

Barbarian's turn: "I want to push the rogue."

Of course the barbarian succeeds in that and he pushes the rogue into the lake.

The rogue is attacked by swimming kuo-toas and is knocked out. The rest of the party kills the kuo-toas and the sad plesiosaur swims away because I didn't want to wait for them to whittle down its 65 HP.

The party cleric heals the rogue back to full HP

During the battle, the plesiosaur-riding kuo-tua used its spear as an arcane focus to cast spells. The rogue thinks it's magical and asks the wizard to cast identify on it.

I like being honest, and if it was magic I would have told him, but it wasn’t. "it's just a spear, the kuo-toa used it as an arcane focus for spellcasting."

"I take it anyway." He said.

Whatever.

The rest of the party builds makeshift rafts out of giant mushroom caps because it’s the underdark. They sail across the lake and see a kuo-toa city on the far shore.

"As you raft across the lake, you hear the baleful, sorrowing moans of a prehistoric sea creature, mourning the loss of its owner, coming from the water." I described.

"I want to tame the plesiosaur." The rogue said.

No. This ain't ark: survival evolved.

They reach the city. Shenanigans ensue. The more evil demon-worshiping kuo-toas are fighting the less evil gnome-worshiping kuo-toas and the Dagon followers summon some low-level demons to help them.

The party wants to stealth through the city and avoid fighting as much as possible. Of course, kid rogue has other plans.
Therogue on hearing there are demons to fight "I run toward them and throw the spear I picked up at the demon."

I laughed a little bit. 

Rogues have proficiency with spears, but he used strength as a dump stat.

"Ok, so you stab the spear at the demon. How much damage did you do?" I asked.

Two.

"Ok, 2 damage. The demon screams in abyssal and then you hear a voice in your head” Because of course they're also telepathic. 

The demon says "FOOLISH MORTAL, YOU HAVE SIGNED YOUR DEATH WARRANT."

I roll for damage.

I just want to briefly clarify that as much as I wanted to kill the kid’s character I wouldn’t lie about the roll. But conveniently I didn’t have to because the universe ALSO wanted to kill the kid’s character.

FREAKING CRIT.

4D6+2 damage later.

"Ok, I'm unconscious. Which is fine, my mom is picking me up now."

And he left.

Because of his shenanigans, I had to cut out a whole page of the module which was about eight pages long, and fast forward to the boss fight. There was about an hour left before the store closed at this point, and we finished about 15 minutes before the store closed.

The dwarf barbarian played ok. I had another adult player who was a human fighter but was RPing a literal Christian paladin (as in he pulled out a bible and started praising Jesus, but that was in good fun.

The kid wasn’t the most annoying I’ve ever played with but he came damn close.