All Things DnD's Story Dungeon

D&D Story: Dungeon Master Wants To Hook Up With A Player Who Is Also A Problem

January 27, 2021 All Things DnD
All Things DnD's Story Dungeon
D&D Story: Dungeon Master Wants To Hook Up With A Player Who Is Also A Problem
Show Notes Transcript

Is this the craziest DM is nuts story you've ever heard?

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To preface this, I also am a woman who prefers women.
This was my first woman DM, and, out of the four years I've been playing D&D, I've only ever had male DMs. Everyone of them had had weird sexual hangups, and the games I DMed had a That Guy who made my life miserable(that's another story and not why I'm mad right now) So when I found a lady DM, I thought for sure my problems were over.
I was so, so wrong.
Alice is a great DM for the most part. And no, this isn't her real name. She's fair with loot, she's engaging, her characters are compelling, and her plot hooks are great. She's got a great sense of humor, and is quick witted. She just desperately wants in this girl's pants.
We were playing D&D 5E, to start with. When the campaign began, none of us realized Alice had a crush on Mary, also not her real name. We had known each other for a few months before from a discord group we were all in, and wanted to make a D&D campaign. Alice volunteered to DM, and we agreed. We grabbed a few more people and off we were.
It took a few sessions for me to realize that things were a little skewed in Mary's favor. She had the best NPC responses, the most interesting encounters, the rich noble character was finding the most gold, and at this point, we hadn't come across any merchants, and we weren't getting any items either. I'd seen favoritism before and, honestly, it didn't bother me. I can work around not having any loot. As long as my character has money for rations, she can sleep in a stable. It was fine.
Then I get a message from the DM saying, "Hey Mary is gonna split from the party."
It was like session 4 at this point, and we'd just had a session the day before. I said cool, and found out from another player that they were going to have private sessions every night for like two weeks, skipping our regular game night until this was resolved. So I asked to listen in on this. They were cool with it.
It Mary's character was hit on by nearly every male NPC and a few lady NPCs. There was action, romance, a forced marriage...yes, forced, by magic and suddenly the PC had found a man who would never ever desert her, loved her for all she was, a passionate man who yielded to her desires, etc. I have to admit, I was very excited for my character's arc. I've never had a DM pay this much attention to me before, and was excited at the prospect of having my character thought of so much.
Nope. I asked who was going to get solo sessions next, and Alice said, "Oh. I won't be doing this with everyone else. It would be weird."
I was confused, so I asked what she meant by weird. She confessed they were role-playing the smut parts when their verbal sessions were over, and she didn't want to do that with anyone else. It was then that it dawned on me that Alice had a thing for Mary. I'll admit, I was pretty upset. I felt slighted, but after a talk with my partner, I realized that, in the end, it's just a game, and if both parties are willing, it was fine. As long as things didn't start getting unfair.
Things started getting unfair.
The sessions became the two of them speaking about 80% of the time. The paladin actually tunes out the game unless he's being spoken to directly. The barbarian left the game because she wasn't getting to speak ever, and myself and the warlock mostly just interject when we can. The warlock went to the city she was from, and she also didn't get a solo session, and actually had to ask questions out loud whenever anyone asked her a question. Like, "I don't know Alice, DO I know that?"
So far, Mary has had:
A two week solo session complete with an all new cast of characters the DM admits the rest of us will never meet.
A month-long solo session for her second character complete with fleshed out politics, a full cast of NPCs that we only met like three of.
Her first character is the only one who can get us out of certain situations.
Her second character just happened to study the exact thing that we're looking for, in a world where no one else knows anything about it, not even the characters, and she's like 17 so she's really really smart.
Pages on pages of information. She complained once the DM gave her 14 pages of back story about the city we were in. When we went to the city I was from, I got half-sentences as we went along and no solo sessions.
Only she has the solutions for very specific puzzles Alice crafts that need a spell only Mary has.
You might be thinking, "Okay so what has Mary done?"
We were in a city full of creatures none of us knew about, not even the paladin, who was from this area, but he was the only one who could speak Infernal, so he was our translator. Alice still posited every question to Mary. "What's Mary doing? What's she feeling? What's her reaction?" and finally, Mary said "I'm tired of being the one who has to do everything!"
Alice said "Fair enough," and had the paladin deal with things.After about fifteen minutes of them going back and forth, Mary finally pipes up.
"Well, I'm just going to go to bed if I'm not doing anything," and leaves the call. It was about 6 pm. 
Not bed time at all. Alice says she'll see what's up and leave the call. We wait, and ten minutes later, Alice pops back in.
"Yeah, she's tired and if she's not doing anything, she feels like she's wasting time. She's gonna cool off, then come back."
We were like "Okay?"
After that, any time Mary wasn't in the spotlight, she'd leave the call, saying she was wasting time. 
"Call me when it's my turn." The rest of us were pretty damn patient when it came to her and Alice, so this infuriates me. It's an ongoing thing. Any time Alice tries to deviate from her, she throws a tantrum for "wasting her time" and Alice has to go and get her.
This isn't even mentioning the weird comments they make towards one another during the game. Alice has tried to get Mary to be more than just DM and player but Mary isn't interested in that. She's got a boyfriend. Her boyfriend doesn't mind the smut, but the dynamic is a no. And I know this because our characters were talking at the breakfast table and Alice all of a sudden started talking about it out of nowhere. Mary said "Can we talk about this afterwards? Our characters were talking." Alice said "Oh, right," and they went back to the two of them RPing.
I've put up with DMs showing favoritism before, but this is the longest campaign I've ever been in. I had no idea it could get worse.

It’s important to note that we live in the same area roundabout, so we're doing discord calls because of COVID. Mary did not feel comfortable with us knowing where she lived quite yet, since she lives with her younger siblings and parents. We met at Alice's place usually, or my place. This is important.
Mary had started getting really testy during discord calls, and giving us whiplash. I asked the warlock if they noticed the same thing, and they did. I wasn't completely nuts. I confided in them that I felt a little upset that Mary was getting so much attention, and Alice was neglecting the rest of us a bit. They agreed and we ended the conversation with some inane chatter about unrelated things.
The very next day was a session, and everything seemed mostly fine. Mary was in a good mood, Alice wasn't being overly flirty with her, and we were continuing our mission. We begin, and the first thing out of Alice's mouth is "Since someone seems to think that I talk to Mary too much, how about we talk to the paladin?"
So...I guess the cat is out of the bag.
Things got a little more tense after that. My characters were coming up empty on rolls from 18's to nat 20's, where, as usual, Mary was gleaning a ton of information at 11's and 12's. 
After some consideration and getting tired of the drama I decided that I should leave the campaign. Now, contrary to what I said before, my character was actually pretty entwined in the story, and I wanted a clean break for everyone else. So I made a plan to speak with Alice about things, to tell her why I was leaving and to work things out without killing my character, since killing my character would essentially kill the mission, with the way she made player deaths work.
Before I could talk to Alice, I got a long, and I mean a very long text message from Mary essentially saying she was tired of the way Alice had been not only treating her, but her friends, and she was cutting her out of her life. She wanted to stay friends with the rest of the D&D group, but she was leaving the campaign because Alice had begun making her incredibly uncomfortable and nothing she did was getting through to her. She noted that Alice was focusing on her in a major way, and had tried to point out to Alice that what she was doing wasn't fair. When that didn't work, she started being bratty during games to show Alice that she wasn't all that great.
I was like, "Alright."
I told her that I did want to stay friends, and found out some extra crap that Alice was doing. Long story short, she was being racist, transphobic. She told me that she didn't agree with my identity but she'd "overlook it." She was spamming Mary with messages constantly while she was sleeping, and kept telling Mary that she was going to find her house and come kidnap her, kidnap her younger siblings so she'd have to see her, she was going to schmooze her parents into inviting her over to dinner, a bunch of weird stalker behavior.
Any time Mary wanted to hang out with someone else, Alice would get jealous and make Mary feel bad for "leading her on" and "being a tease" and "not giving her a chance." Mary never said anything about this because she didn't want to rock the boat and break up the D&D game.
That was a running theme with the group, actually. Turns out, none of us actually liked Alice, we were just under the impression that each of us was a package deal and if we cut Alice out of our lives, then the rest would also get cut out. So all of us stayed quiet and silently put up with everything she was doing. Despite everything, we were mostly enjoying the game, but for Mary, the breaking point had arrived.
So, happily, we all cut Alice out of our lives. Things were fine, at least for the first few days. First, we started getting phone calls. The warlock was the only one to answer, and she was given this sob story about how Alice was just in love, she loved deeply, passionately. Alice made her promise that no matter what happened, she wouldn't block her and would stay friends with her. The warlock promised, hung up, then blocked her number. I also received a call, but didn't answer. I've been through weird crap enough, I don't need more manipulative people in my life. The paladin and barbarian, who, remember, was no longer in the campaign also got phone calls, but they didn't answer either and blocked her number.
I don't know what possessed her to do this, but she drove to my house and banged on my door. I live in an apartment complex, so she got an angry neighbor cussing her out while she yelled at my door, finally leaving when he told her off. I sent out a message to our group chat that she came to my house, and Mary said she was going to go stay with someone for a week. No one else got a visit knowingly from Alice. I've started my own campaign, and so far the rest of the group seems to be having fun.
It's been a couple of weeks, and nobody has heard from Alice. I sincerely hope we never do. I've got another game I'm in, and the DM is really good, but I feel like he's the exception rather than the rule.